Learning What I Need + How To Show Up For Myself
Raise your hand if you have a hard time giving your self permission to do what you know you neED.
That’s what I thought…me too!
Something I have always struggled with was observing what it is that I TRULY need moment to moment, day to day and then aligning my actions with that need. We have been taught that actions and thoughts surrounding ourselves and what we need as individuals is considered a “treat” and should be last on the totem pole. That somehow we are not a truly good friend, parent, sibling, daughter/son, or employee if everyone and everything else does not come first. HA! If that system worked, it would have worked by now.
This journey of self inquiry and noticing my patterns and habits that get in the way of my own self growth or allowing me to show up for myself has been a long time coming. I have been doing self inquiry in this realm for as long as I can remember, and while I am no where near perfect and sometimes fall short of being my best advocate, I have a few tools up my sleeve for when I get overwhelmed and fall back into old habits that don’t serve my intention.
So here I give you 5 short, sweet, and SIMPLE ways to observe what you need and how to show up for yourself.
USE A HAND WRITTEN PLANNER/CALENDAR
I am a professional over-booker. I LOVE to stay busy and always have projects, ideas, tasks, etc. to get done…but whether or not you’re a chronic DO-ER, we tend to all lead overly busy lives that don’t always allow the SPACE for self-care or quiet time. What I found was a main culprit in this overbooking was not writing out my week and seeing it all on the page. Digital calendars-similar to the ole swipe the credit card mindset vs tangible cash-don’t allow us to really sit and look at our week laid out and see what all is happening as a whole. I find that when I look over my week in a planner and see the big picture I tend to refrain from overbooking and leave empty space for myself.
NOTICING HOW MY BODY FEEEEEEEELS
like, really feels. So often we write sensations off and don’t give credit to the mind body connection. We cruise on through our days, not once stopping to think-how do I TRULY FEEL? I have found that when I am up in my head, trying to manage EVERYTHING with my mind-I lose a major connection to where my heart actually is and how my body may be responding. So next time you are met with a decision, or notice even an inkling of anxiety or frustration, STOP. Close your eyes, and let your body relax. Soften your eyes, your teeth, your tongue, your shoulders, everything. Take a few deep, present breaths and then truly decide from that space what needs to happen. Through this practice I find I lend myself much more grace and make decisions through true clarity rather than scarcity, fear, lack, doubt, obligation, etc.
PLAYFUL EXERCISE/MOVEMENT FOR MOVEMENTS SAKE
Nothing gets me more connected to my needs and our of my head than moving my body. This can mean movement in any way that really awakens you and for that reason only! When we put pressure behind exercise as a means to lose weight, look a certain way, or as “punishment” or even “reward”, it seems like another thing on our list. Another thing we HAVE to do. BUMMER! So just MOVE! Go on a walk to get fresh air and listen to a podcast, play on the playground with your kiddo, do a workout class because you feel strong and empowered afterwards, invite a friend to yoga with you because its more fun to do things together, or dance in your living room for five minutes before you start your evening tasks. Move for the sake of movement and you will notice all the doors in which it opens for you to JUST BE.
24 HOUR (OR MORE!) SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX
There is a whole blog on this here, but I can not reiterate the importance of this ENOUGH. It will all be there when you get back and if you use social media platforms for your business, I promise it will not make or break it if you do not post or engage for a day. There are PLENTY of studies just a short google search away that talk about the benefits of creating boundaries with social media. It is a wonderful invention and can be so beneficial in numerous ways, but everything in moderation. Just give a go, you may be surprised! I find so much clarity and precision in my day to day actions and how I spend my energy when I step back from the noise that social media tends to fill me with. I do this weekly!
TAKE IT OUTSIDE
Get creative about getting that fresh air and vitamin D! Some of my favorite ways to get outside don’t have to require exercise or a lot of planning. Lay a blanket in your backyard and take dinner outside as a picnic, go on a walk during your lunch break, journal on your porch for even ten minutes, heck, just SIT outside for even five! Stepping away from a task or an environment where you feel like you have to get stuff done (i.e. laundry, work, computer, etc.) can slow you down just enough to bring you back to the present moment and notice where you got overwhelmed. Giving yourself these (sometimes small amounts) of time outside can be a great reset for when you decide to move on with your tasks for the day.